Night of Mindfulness–Saturday, August 2nd

Dear Friends,

Please join us for a night of mindfulness this Saturday, August 2nd.  Practice will begin at 6 PM and conclude at about 10 PM.


345 Valley Falls Road

Vernon, CT

@ The Red Barn

If you can attend, please RSVP to, as space is limited. Please bring clothing suitable for indoor and outdoor practice.  Chairs will be provided but you may also bring your own zafu, cushion or bench.  Please note that the barn floor is concrete so you may want to bring a blanket as well.

Please park at the barn (overflow parking at the white house across the street) and enter at the lower level

Dinner-and-a-Movie at Phap Hoa, Saturday, July 26th

Hello, Dear Friends! Dharma Flower Sangha will be hosting a dinner-and-a-movie night Saturday, July 26th, 6:30 PM to 9 PM at Phap Hoa Buddhist Temple.  A vegetarian potluck dinner will be followed by a screening of the film, Unlikely Friends, and a discussion.

“From award-winning filmmaker Lesie Neale, Unlikely Friends documents victims of brutal crimes who, through the power of forgiveness, unexpectedly become friends with their perpetrators. The victims forgive out of a need to heal themselves, which in turn motivates their perpetrators to fully account for their actions and begin a process of true rehabilitation.”


Because of the subject matter, the film is appropriate for adults and older teens. Please bring a vegetarian dish and a friend!

Phap Hoa Buddhist Temple
85 Prospect Street Vernon, CT

What Does Being a Buddhist Mean to You? re: life as a Korean Nun

“Inspiration must come from within ourselves.  If we hope to get inspiration from the outside—as if it was falling from the sky–this is wrong. It should be like water coming out of a source.  From where else could we receive it?”

Myongsong Sunim

Dinner and A Movie at Phap Hoa, Saturday, July 5th

It’s Dharma Flower’s  dinner-and-a-movie night! Saturday, July 5th, 6:30 PM to 9 PM at Phap Hoa Buddhist Temple.  A vegetarian potluck dinner will be followed by a screening of the film, “Free The Mind,” and a discussion. “Free The Mind” explores the potential benefits of meditation techniques for military war veterans and children. The film is appropriate for children and adults. Please bring a vegetarian dish and a friend!
Phap Hoa Buddhist Temple
85 Prospect Street Vernon, CT

Awareness Meditation Practice with Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche

Practice: Awareness Meditation
When we practice ngondro, we can alternate our supports for awareness. We can move from using the breath for support, to looking at a flower or listening to a sound. And what happens when our monkey-mind pops up screaming, “Pay attention to me! We must replay this past episode and anticipate the future”?  If we are using the breath for support, we come back to the breath. Without judging ourselves, without getting discouraged or feeling hopeless, we just come back to the breath and get on with it.

Various forms of shamata, or awareness meditation, teach us how to uncover our innate qualities of mind, and the most common will use the breath to support our recognition of awareness. This works with feeling sensation. Breath is the most common support because it is available in all circumstances and conditions, which explains why we so often hear “Come back to the breath.” If we get lost in discursive thinking, if we get lost inside a past experience or disappear into a black hole of anger or jealousy: “Come back to the breath.” The nature of the breath makes it the most reliable support, especially for new students.

Let’s try meditating using the breath as support for awareness. But first, before purposely doing any particular meditation exercise, it’s good to start with just resting your mind. Just that. For now, remain in whatever informal posture you are in. To get a sense of how it feels to rest the mind, think about how you rest in daily life. If you jog for a few miles, what happens when you stop or take a break? Imagine cleaning the house for an hour or two, and then stopping to rest. Imagine that first moment of taking a break. Or imagine coming home to an apartment tower in Hong Kong or Minneapolis and learning that the electricity has gone off. The generators aren’t working, so you have to walk up two flights of stairs, or maybe ten or twenty. Finally you reach your apartment, get a glass of water, and sink into the couch. Aaahhh. Something like that. Think of an activity that requires extra effort, and then practice a silent version of this release. Just rest. Just relax the mind, even for a few seconds. Aaahhh.

Try that. Then rest.

Rest for a few more seconds.

Then come out of resting. How was that?

Now I have one big secret: resting the mind this way is meditation.

Yet if I say that beforehand, you might start off with some big expectation and become tense and anxious, and that’s not helpful. Yet that sense of resting, of allowing whatever arises to just be, without trying to control anything, that mind of “aaahhh” comes close to natural awareness. We call this “open awareness” or “shamata without support.”

When I say that this mind comes close to open awareness, I mean that without the intention to meditate, you will not benefit much from just the experience. Motivation and intention help you realize awareness. But if you infuse your intentions with too much hope and expectation, they may lead to disappointment. You want to combine your purposeful intention with the relaxed mind of resting.

This exercise can be repeated many times. Don’t try to hold on to the awareness. When you find your mind wandering, just come back to the exercise and start again.

Now let’s try a more formal approach to meditation. The practice is shamata, or awareness meditation. We use our breath as the object that supports our awareness.

Awareness Meditation with Breath

• Sit in a relaxed posture with your back straight.
• Your eyes can be open or closed.
• Take a minute or two to rest in open awareness. Perhaps bring to mind that feeling of sinking into a chair to rest after strenuous exertion: Aaahhh.
• Now breathe normally through your mouth, nose, or both.
• Bring your awareness to your breath as it flows in and out.
• At the end of the out-breath, rest your awareness in the gap that comes naturally before the next inhalation.
• If your mind wanders, simply bring it back to the breath.
• Continue this for five to ten minutes.
• Conclude the exercise with resting in open awareness.



Tara Brach Teaching–Trance of “Unreal Other”

The truth is: without a genuine willingness to let in the suffering of others, our spiritual practice remains empty. Father Theophane, a Christian mystic, writes about an incident that happened when he took some time off from his secular duties for spiritual renewal at a remote monastery. Having heard of a monk there who was widely respected for his wisdom, he sought him out. Theophane had been forewarned that this wise man gave advice only in the form of questions. Eager to receive his own special contemplation, Theophane approached the monk: “I am a parish priest and am here on retreat. Could you give me a question to meditate on?” “Ah, yes.” The wise man answered. “My question for you is: What do they need?” A little disappointed, Theophane thanked him and went away. After a few hours of meditating on the question and feeling as if he were getting nowhere, he decided to go back to the teacher. “Excuse me,” he began, “Perhaps I didn’t make myself clear. Your question has been helpful, but I wasn’t so much interested in thinking about my apostolate during this retreat. Rather I wanted to think seriously about my own spiritual life. Could you give me a question for my own spiritual life?” “Ah, I see,” answered the wise man. Then my question is, “What do they really need?” Like so many of us, Father Theophane had assumed that true spiritual reflection focuses on our solitary self. But as the wise man reminded him, spiritual awakening is inextricably involved with others. As Theophane focused on the needs of those he had been given to serve, he would recognize their vulnerability and longing for love—and realize that their needs were no different than his own. The question the wise man suggested was wonderfully crafted for awakening in Theophane the true spiritual depth that comes from paying close attention to other human beings. Like Theophane, whenever we are caught in our own self-centered drama, everyone else becomes “other” to us, different and unreal. The world becomes a backdrop to our own special experience and everyone in it serves as supporting cast, some as adversaries, some as allies, most as simply irrelevant. Because involvement with our personal desires and concerns prevents us from paying close attention to anyone else, those around us—even family and friends—can become unreal, two-dimensional cardboard figures, not humans with wants and fears and throbbing hearts. The more different someone seems from us, the more unreal they may feel to us. We can too easily ignore or dismiss people when they are of a different race or religion, when they come from a different socio-economic “class.” Assessing them as either superior or inferior, better or worse, important or unimportant, we distance ourselves. Fixating on appearances—their looks, behavior, ways of speaking—we peg them as certain types. They are HIV positive or an alcoholic, a leftist or fundamentalist, a criminal or power-monger, a feminist or do-gooder. Sometimes our type-casting has more to do with temperament—the person is boring or narcissistic, needy or pushy, anxious or depressed. Whether extreme or subtle, typing others makes the real human invisible to our eyes and closes our heart. Once someone is an unreal other, we lose sight of how they hurt. Because we don’t experience them as feeling beings, we not only ignore them, we can inflict pain on them without compunction. Not seeing that others are real leads to a father disowning his son for being gay, divorced parents using their children as weapons. All the enormous suffering of violence and war comes from our basic failure to see that others are real. In teaching the compassion practices, I sometimes ask students to bring to mind someone they see regularly but are not personally involved with. Then I invite them to consider, “What does he or she need?” “What does this person fear?” “What is life like for this person?” After one of these meditations, a student approached me to report that a wonderful thing had happened since she’d begun doing this practice. When seeing colleagues at work, neighbors walking their dogs, clerks at stores, she’d been saying in her mind, “You are real. You are real.” Rather than being backdrops for her life, she was finding them come alive to her. She’d notice a gleam of curiosity in the eyes, a generous smile, an anxious grinding of teeth, a disappointed and resigned slope to the shoulders, the sorrow in a downcast look. If she stayed a moment longer, she could also feel their shyness, their awkwardness, or their fear. She told me, “The more real they are to me, the more real and warm and alive I feel. I feel a closeness in just being humans together. It doesn’t matter who they are … I feel like I can accept them as part of my world.” When we stop to attend and see others as real, we uncover the hidden bond that exists between all beings. In her poem “Kindness,” Naomi Shihab Nye writes:      Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness                you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho                lies dead by the side of the road.                You must see how this could be you,                how he too was someone                who journeyed through the night with plans                and the simple breath that kept him alive. We are all journeying through the night with plans, breathing in and out this mysterious life. And, as my student discovered through her practice , the more we can learn to pay attention to others, and truly see them as “real,” just like us, the more we can allow the “tender gravity of kindness” to naturally awaken and bloom. Tara Brach Adapted from Radical Acceptance, 2013

Into the Demon’s Mouth

“The spiritual journey involves stepping into unknown territory with a hunger to know what is true. One of the essential elements of such a life is the understanding that everything we encounter— fear, resentment, jealousy, embarrassment—is actually an invitation to see clearly where we are shutting down and holding back.”

– Aura Glasser




Night of Mindfulness, Saturday, 31 May, Bolton Congregational Church

A continuation of nights of mindfulness at Bolton Congregational Church.

Saturday, 31 May

6-10 PM

Bolton Congregational Church

(directly behind the church in the community hall–parking available)

229 Bolton Center Road

Please bring your own custion, a blanket and a friend!

Tea and treats will be provided.

Please RSVP to Tom Duva at

The Dharma is deep and lovely.